I was a sophomore at the University of San Diego when I decided to declare my major as English with an Emphasis on Writing. I knew my dad, who was paying my tuition, wouldn’t be completely thrilled. His idea of “career” and mine were two different things.
When I told him about my choice, he said this:
“Writing? That’s great honey. Why don’t you come on down to the dealership and learn the Finance Department… just in case you’re not Hemingway?” (My dad had a way with words.)
How long does it take you to fill in this blank: “I am not ________ enough.”
Or this one: “My business is not __________ enough.”
I’m guessing it took less than a second.
New Year’s Eve. The day of reckoning. The day that we so often celebrate in groups, while obsessing about ourselves. You know what I mean: What did I achieve last year? Did I make enough money? Did I lose enough weight? Who will I be next year? Will I still be carrying on with this silly habit? How can I make myself better?
I’ll admit, I get stuck in this trap like everyone else.
But years ago, one of my closest friends, Scooby, taught me a New Year’s Eve tradition that has made the last day of the year something entirely different for me. This tradition has changed me, and changed the way I look at the 364 days that just passed. Maybe it will change you, too.
I was nearly 40 years old the last time my older brother said, “I’m telling Mom on you.” Here’s how it went down…
Tell me if you’ve ever felt like this: you begin a new project and it’s an absolute rush. You see it unfold before your eyes and each day you awake, powered by possibility and anticipation. You are rocking it.
And then, the beginning becomes the middle, and your daily activities turn from novel to commonplace. Your rush has become a push. And it’s tough to hang. The thrill has gone, my friend, and you’re left cleaning up the party residue.
It’s the day after the big launch. The week after the trade show. The month after the honeymoon. The year after you opened the new business…
Do you ever find yourself in the following business situation?
You know you have something to offer the world. You know you’re an expert in your field. You know, if given the chance, you can set the world on fire.
But you just can’t seem to get there, because people don’t see you the way you want to be seen. You’re putting it down, but people aren’t picking it up. You’ve built it, but no one is coming. Because they perceive you as a newbie, an amateur, a youngster… a fledgling enterprise.
I’ve been there. And I’m about to tell you how my husband turned this feeling on its head – and financed my business – with a briefcase full of crackers.
How often do you brand yourself with your own thoughts? How many times have you called yourself something based on what you completed, aligned with or joined? How many times have you branded yourself based on something you didn’t do, and then had to climb out from under the weight of your own dangerous labels?
I’ve been labeling myself all my life. From the time I was five I was “Type-A.” I was a Mrs. far too young – before I was an MBA — and after my divorce I was a SWF. Once at a Chemical Brothers concert an insanely high college water polo player called me a MILF. I’ve been a VP and a CEO. Some people call me OCD, but that’s an armchair diagnosis.
How often do you see someone do something, write something, make something, be something, and think, I could have done that better, myself? How many big ideas are whirling in your mind at any point in time? How often do you tell yourself that tomorrow you’ll start your new business, put up your new blog, post your first song to YouTube, pitch your new product to a potential big client, begin training for your first marathon? Continue reading
How often do you feel that things aren’t happening quickly enough? That nothing is materializing in the time frame it should? That you’re lagging or stagnating or just plain ineffective?
Does not being able to make a difference inside of a week, month or even a year lead to a sense of urgency that turns to desperation in moments of self-doubt?
Don’t sweat it. I feel it, too. And so does every other human who makes the attempt to launch a product, build a business, grow a following, self-improve or foster a relationship. Continue reading
It’s July 5, and you’ve set today as the deadline to finish your research for your brand (or lose your first five pounds, or weed your unruly garden, or write and mail your thank you notes). You wake up and see the date circled on your calendar. You’re terrified; you’re not any closer to completing this goal than you were the day you set it. Naturally, you choose one of two rational courses of action: a) spend the day hiding from your calendar in a pile of tasks requiring immediate attention, or b) organize the silverware drawer. You helplessly feel the day slipping away, the deadline beating at the back of your skull like a tension headache.
By bedtime, you’re deflated. You’ve let yourself down. You’ve been irresponsible. You’re a flake and a failure.
You’ve come down with a horrible case of Arbitrary Deadline Syndrome.
The worse part? You brought it on yourself. Continue reading
